Wednesday, August 6, 2008


Yes. The dreaded "P" word.

I hate politics. I really hate people who talk about politics. I hate hypocrites too, that doesn't mean I can't be one.

So, of course, I get saddled with a new guy at the office that loves to talk about everything, including politics. I do have to give him credit for waiting all of three days before launching into a rant. It all started simply enough. "Who are you voting for?" he asks. The latest in a series of seemingly endless questions.

It's not as bad as I'm making it out, but I am an Introvert, and have had a semi-private office to myself for a couple years now. Having to go from that, to sharing an office with an Extrovert is not an easy transition. I've got to share this office with him for the indefinite future though. So, I'm trying to make a go of it, it's just that I'm a naturally quiet guy. Well, in person I am, the internet's another matter entirely, as you'll find out from this overly-verbose rambling.

It's near closing time of a long day, and I'm just surfing around, checking the latest posts on reddit. He asks about a page of funny military pics I'm looking at. Did I mention he can see my monitor from his desk? :( So, we chat for a bit, getting around to fishing somehow. I don't fish, haven't since I was a kid. If I want to get drunk and sit in a boat while playing with a phallic symbol, I'll do it in my own damned yard where the chance of drowning is somewhat reduced. Our office is, however, nearly within spitting distance of a newly constructed reservoir. A fairly major reservoir, and one of the few interesting things in this shit-hole town(of course, it's just outside the city limits).

He asks whether the city built it, and I break out laughing(this is a common response from anyone, anywhere, who has ever had to deal with any form of local government). The local government is a joke, the city is not only bankrupt, but in debt up to it's eyeballs. Several factors lead to this, the housing bubble likely being the most influential. Though, I believe that could have been mitigated were it not for the general incompetence of the city leaders. This is a crossroads town, a minor crossroads town at that. We sit equidistant between several larger cities, and are close enough to both Los Angeles and San Diego to have made it a not unconceivable commute. That is, back before gas went through the roof thanks to your oil baron of a president.

So, bang the city explodes, at least that's how it must have seemed to the small minded politicos that claim to run things around here. Small town mentalities, with small town agendas, that just could not, and still can not deal with a population doubling in under a decade. The bubble carried them through a lot, but when it burst, and took the thousands of planned Mc Mansions, and the property tax from they were expecting from them, with it. The city folded like an accordion.

With gasoline at somewhere near a thousand dollars a tank(don't ask me what it really is, I don't drive), this little crossroads town, left with almost no commerce or industry, is now being abandoned in droves(love that word, Droves:). So, what do the geniuses in city hall do? They decide to tax all of our utilities, a move guaranteed to drive off anyone who can afford to leave(if they haven't already left), and punish those too poor to get the hell out. This group mainly consists of the seniors who were already here, and the worst of what came from the cities.

Imagine a wave. This influx, great, beautiful, & powerful. Now imagine that wave crashing, washing away any life that once existed. Leaving behind only flotsam & jetsam. This is my town today, a small town made larger than it could bear, now being crushed under the weight of the scum washed in from the bigger cities, and it's own crumbling infrastructure.

I didn't go into nearly as much detail as this with my new office-mate, even though local politics is always a safe topic in property management. We've all got our horror stories, and everyone loves to complain about it. So, I don't really understand why he had to bring up the national stuff. I know it's that time of year and all, but Politics & Religion should never be brought up at work. This goes triple if you're an anti-american atheist:)

Trying to convey with my facial expression -you know the one, we've all used it before, even though it never works- that I really don't want to talk about this. I answer that I do not plan to vote this year. I do not explain that I wont vote because I don't consider myself an american(because I am not insane).

Mis-construing, or just flat out ignoring, my pained expression. He persists, and I waver by stating that I might have voted for Hillary, had she stayed the front runner. McCainosaur isn't even an option for me, and Obama reminds me too damned much of "The Smiler" from Transmet. That's how I see this contest btw. The Smiler vs The Beast, The Party in Opposition vs The Party Formerly in Opposition. Hell, I keep waiting for someone to assassinate the "Obama Girl" :P

(Imagine a picture of the Vita Severn Memorial here. I would place an actual picture here, but the internets have failed me. I may dig out my old issues for a pic sometime in the future, but don't hold your breath)

My choice of Hillary is based purely on the fact that a clinton cleaned up the last mess left by a bush(no slick willy jokes please), and that a clinton might be able to clean up the latest bush's mess. I tried to explain this, but the clintons are apparently evil communists deserving of our hatred and ridicule.

I know he's a generation (or two) older than me, but I thought we had all gotten past hating "The Reds". Doesn't he know it's all about those crazy muslims now-a-days:)
(Please don't blow me up for this)

So, he goes on for about 20 minutes about how clinton, the one with the penis, let the chinese build a naval military base in long beach. It's actualy a shipyard owned by cosco, a chinese shipping company, who according to pat buchanan is just a front for the chinese military. Then he gets into this thing about a the chinese capturing a grounded spy plane and sending it back in a box. Saying that clinton just let this happen when he could have threatened to close the long beach shipyard. A few things don't really work for this argument though. One, bush was president when it happened. Two, the american plane was flying over china illegaly. Three, it had knocked a chinese plane out of the sky, killing it's pilot. Doesn't sound like a very strong argument to me.

I didn't know any of this then, and I'm not likely to bring it up again, but if he presses, I may just have too. I don't want to spend another 20 minutes looking like a deer caught in the headlights. Fucking Politics.

We do have one thing in common though. We both think america would be a lot better off if McFossil would just stroke out already.

Damn, that was a long one. βeta, out.


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